WHAT AMERICA WANTS: THE TOP TEN SONGS IN THE NATION: WEEK ENDING FEBRUARY 15TH
We're studying pop music going back 50 years here, starting with this week's top ten chart from the Billboard Hot 100 and working our way backward through the charts from this week in 2010, 2000, 1990, 1980, and 1970, analyzing each separately.
My special guest this week is a guy I love talking about music with, Dan Kramer. Dan is an absurdly talented bass player, pianist, songwriter, producer and arranger but more importantly he's a great dude. If you've watched TV in the past 10 years you've probably heard his music without realizing it from his work at his production house Skillman Labs. He and Ernest "Ernie" D'Amaso started the Motown influenced band Ernest Ernie and the Sincerities and released two albums, and he also fronts a Thin Lizzy tribute band, Thin Timmy, utilizing his spot on imitation of Phil Lynott.
A quick note: as I mentioned last week the Dream Eaters have a new album out now that you can buy on Bandcamp, and I also mentioned that it would be out on Spotify, Apple Music, etc on February 14th, and it still is not up, for reasons I'm still unclear about, but they stem from my distribution company's seemingly relentless determination to make me look like a buffoon. We're working on it, and it will be up soon. Until then you can either preview or buy the whole thing on Bandcamp.
TOP TEN SONGS THIS WEEK 2020
1. THE BOX by Roddy Rich
2. LIFE IS GOOD by Future featuring Drake
3. CIRCLES by Post Malone
4. MEMORIES by Maroon 5
5. DANCE MONKEY by Tones And I
6. SOMEONE YOU LOVED by Lewis Capaldi
7. ROXANNE by Arizona Zervas
8. 10,000 HOURS by Dan + Shay and Justin Bieber
9. DON'T START NOW by Dua Lipa
10. EVERYTHING I WANTED by Billie Eilish
JAKE: THE BOX being number one again started me thinking about what seems to be the greater likelihood that a contemporary song will hold onto the number one spot for multiple weeks, while the songs from the charts in the years prior to around 2000 seemed to hold on to number one, or any position in the top ten, for a much more limited time. The data seems to bear this out: of the 37 songs that held on at number one for more than 10 weeks, there are, almost unbelievably, only TWO that did this prior to 1990: Debby Boone's "You Light Up My Life" and Olivia Newton John's "Physical". 25 of the remaining 35 are from the last two decades, and while most of them are undeniably catchy, many if not a majority of them are not exactly up to the standard of number ones from prior years like, to use this week as an example, THANK YOU by Sly Stone, or ROCK WITH YOU by Michael Jackson. It seems weird that a song like THE BOX can hold on to number one for 4 consecutive weeks, since it meets almost none of the previously established criteria for a number one song and there is relatively very little that stands out about it . The current longest running number one song of all time is 2019's "Old Town Road" by Lil Nas X, which held the spot for 19 weeks, and while that song has an undeniable hook, that also seems like a pretty long run compared to number ones from prior years. :: If you keep up with the top ten you'll notice that all the songs on it are exactly the same as they were last week, which further demonstrates the chokehold modern songs seem to have on the top of the chart. The list from this week in 1970, for example, has only 3 of the same songs from the list from 1970 four weeks prior, whereas the list from this week in 2020 has 7 of the same songs from the 2020 list four weeks ago. In the list from 1980 only four songs are retained in that same timeframe, in 1990 there are actually only 2, in 2000 there are 5, in 2010 we're back down to 3 again. The current songs, in my opinion, are not of superior quality in any way, so what could be causing this to happen? I will dig deeper in the coming weeks. Stay tuned.
DAN: THE BOX, LIFE IS GOOD, and ROXANNE are all the same song. Wuh. All trap music is the same song. Wuh. I am a white man in my 40s and I am embracing the fuck out of it. Wuh. Also, I remember playing with the Note Repeat button on my MPC back in 1998, thinking that those 32nd note high hats were hilarious. Now they're very cool I guess. Yeh. I also wonder how Cher feels about being the Godmother of Trap. Wuh. (That's an AutoTune joke!) :: I've never actually heard Post Malone, though I really enjoy all those articles talking about how crappy he is. So I assumed that, when I had to listen to CIRCLES, I'd be annoyed or at best, amused. But I can't front, I like it! Obviously, it reminds me of "Runaway Train" by Soul Asylum, since the way he says "run away..." is in the same cadence. But it kinda has a Police vibe, and the instruments sound real too. I ain't mad at it. :: You know how sometimes you'll see a commercial and there will be a song in it that sounds just like a song you know but isn't actually that song? See, video editors often cut commercials to songs they like, and the agency will get used to seeing different cuts to that song. But then when it's time to finish it, they can't afford to license the song so they hire someone with a good working knowledge of copyright law to rip it off. That is what I do for a living. I recently had to do it for MEMORIES. And having deconstructed the song in order to rip it off, I can say that it is an objectively bad song. That is my professional opinion! You could argue with me about it in a court of law and I would win, because courts value professional expertise. Also, it's pretty much just Pachelbel's Canon in D major. But this time it's in B major! :: I don't know if I would like DANCE MONKEY if I hadn't seen the video first. But I did, and I like it! It's weird! And the song is fine I guess. :: SOMEONE YOU LOVED is dull. I mean, he sounds real emotional, like he really means it. But come on. How many times do we have to listen to this progression, with some variation on this same melody? I get it, familiarity is pleasing to the ear. But do we have to keep putting that same song in the top ten?!? I noticed a couple years ago that Dr. Luke (the guy who wrote most of the top ten white people songs of the past twenty years) uses the same interval in the choruses of a disproportionate amount of his songs. It's the 4 to 3 (or fa to mi, if you're into solfege) over one of two chord progressions: vi - IV - I - V or I - V - vi - IV. And this one does it too. It's boring and played out. But I guess congratulations to Lewis Capaldi for... not being Dr. Luke? :: I was never a huge fan of country music, but I could at least get with the aesthetic of the classics. I like Dolly Parton and Johnny Cash, and others from way back. As far as I can tell now though, country music is just boilerplate pop music with exaggerated southern accents. I say "exaggerated" because you can never tell who's British or Australian or even Swedish from listening to a pop song. So the accents are clearly affected for a reason. Anyway, 10,000 HOURS is just another example of that. It's boring. And the songwriting/production sounds like 2000-era boy bands. Is Beiber the new Timberlake? If he isn't yet, I nominate him for that position. :: I dig DON'T START NOW. It's not that creative or anything, but there's a real bass, and there's lots of cool vocal phrasing. She can sing! And I bet it's fun to dance to. I'm like Jake though - you don't want to see me dance. So I won't. :: Billie Eilish is clearly talented. But I think I'm either too old for her music, or just not ever in the right mindset for it. It's like the emo stuff that was happening when I was in my early 20s. Some of it was very well-crafted, but the sentiment was just not for me. I didn't really like Nirvana either. I'm probably just not angsty. But power to her. She's articulating what a lot of people feel. And that's what it's all about!
JAKE AGAIN: Just to unpack what Dan said about the Maroon 5 song sounding like Pachelbel's Canon: first of all, there is almost no way you haven't heard this piece, even if you think you haven't. A canon is, loosely, a piece of music that establishes a melodic line as a centerpiece, and goes on to add new lines that provide counterpoint; in other words new lines that harmonically augment the original line. Picture "Row Row Row Your Boat" when it's sung in rounds; the added lines provide counterpoint to the original line, although in the case of "Row Row Row Your Boat" the counterpoint lines are all the same line as the first line, just repeated at different points in time from where the original line began. Pachelbel's Canon has three different lines, the third of which is nearly identical to the first two melodies in the Maroon 5 song. The harmony (the chord progression) in the Maroon 5 song is also nearly identical to the harmony in Pachelbel's Canon; on a couple of the chords the root note (the bass note) is different but the chords still have the same musical meaning. Can Maroon 5 be sued for this? No. They probably would be if Pachelbel's Canon wasn't firmly in the public domain, in other words it's too old to be protected by copyright laws, meaning anyone can do whatever they want with the song (but that doesn't mean you can just use any recording of the song for anything you want, because a specific recording has a specific owner that has the rights to it). JS Bach was able to write canons with differing counterpoint lines in 6 parts, which is nearly impossible; by the time one gets to the 4th or 5th line, it just starts to sound like every note in the scale is being played at the same time. Even Bach's 6 part canon gets a little murky and unpleasant to listen to and becomes more of a mathematical exercise. Another interesting, albeit obvious, thing Maroon 5 are doing here is taking a song that is often played at graduation ceremonies, copying it musically, and then matching that idea lyrically with yearbook style sentiment. It's definitely a brilliant marketing move because if it catches on as a song that's always played at graduation time, they'll be receiving even more royalty checks for it for the rest of their lives. The rich get richer. If only they had me to guide them, I would tell them not to do corny shit like this and they could make far less money.
TOP TEN SONGS THIS WEEK IN 2010
1. TIK TOK by Ke$ha
2. BAD ROMANCE by Lady Gaga
3. BEDROCK by Young Money featuring Lloyd
4. IMMA BE by the Black Eyed Peas
5. SEXY BITCH/CHICK by David Guetta featuring Akon
6. HOW LOW by Ludacris
7. REPLAY by Iyaz
8. NEED YOU NOW by Lady Antebellum
9. HEY, SOUL SISTER by Train
10. HARD by Rihanna featuring Jeezy
JAKE: The oft-maligned Black Eyed Peas are in the top ten this week with IMMA BE. People really seem to hate these guys but they forget they started at zero as a conscious hip hop act that gained plenty of backpacker cred and worked their way into what they became, and they were very damn good at what they became: a slick, cutting edge force in pop music that didn't take itself too seriously. will.i.am was always one step ahead of the crowd on the pop charts in terms of sonic innovation. :: HOW LOW is a blast, as is most of Ludacris' music. I'm not going to sit down and listen to him while thoughtfully stroking my beard and smoking a pipe, but if it comes on at a party Imma be all "hell yeah!"
DAN: I can't stand Kesha. I mean, I believe her, and I wouldn't wish what happened to her on anyone, and I'm sad that it happened to her (and so many other young women in the industry.) But that said, I think her music is horrible. She perfectly embodies everything about the decline of American culture. Her rapping is a step below Barney Rubble's rap in the old Fruity Pebbles commercial. :: Everything else here is fine I guess. :: I did really like NEED YOU NOW when I first heard it. I don't know if I just like it in relative terms or if it's actually good. But I've always been a sucker for that chord progression. It reminds me of Bob Seger and Edward Scissorhands. That kind of longing for a time that never was. Was Bob Seger ever a young man? It seems like he was born middle-aged and regretful.
TOP TEN SONGS THIS WEEK IN 2000
1. THANK GOD I FOUND YOU by Mariah Carey Featuring Joe & 98 Degrees
2. I KNEW I LOVED YOU by Savage Garden
3. WHAT A GIRL WANTS by Christina Aguilera
4. GET IT ON TONITE by Montell Jordan
5. SMOOTH by Santana featuring Rob Thomas
6. ALL THE SMALL THINGS by Blink-182
7. HOT BOYZ by Missy “Misdemeanor” Elliott Featuring NAS, EVE & Q-Tip
8. MARIA MARIA by Santana Featuring the Product G&B
9. BRING IT ALL TO ME by Blaque
10. SHOW ME THE MEANING OF BEING LONELY by Backstreet Boys
JAKE: ALL THE SMALL THINGS is a super fun song, propelled forward by Travis Barker, one of the best rock drummers at that time. Around 1997 I was in a band that opened for Blink 182, or actually, I think they might have opened for us, and I don't really remember thinking too much of them, which for the thousandth time demonstrates my lack of powers as a prognosticator: it would only be couple years until they were one of the biggest rock bands in the world. :: "MARIA MARIA/she reminds me of a West Side story/ growing up in Spanish Harlem" which is ON THE EAST SIDE. Could one of the 5 people that wrote the song have pointed that out? Also "growing up in Spanish Harlem, she's living a life just like a movie star". Right, she's living just like a movie star, in Spanish Harlem, where all the movie stars live, that makes sense. Wait, now she's suddenly in East LA with no explanation. IT'S NONSENSE. (West Side Story the musical is set in the Upper West Side, which is currently not exactly synonymous with gang wars. But almost immediately after the time that was contemporaneous with the story taking place, Robert Moses-era urban renewal began and subsequently the area was cleared to make way for Lincoln Center. So think about that the next time you're sipping champagne at the ballet.)
DAN: I think HOT BOYZ might be the beginning of 808s on every rap song (outside of Atlanta.) I really like Missy, Nas, Eve and Q-Tip, but this song is just bad. :: I KNEW I LOVED YOU is amazing to me because it's performed by a band, as opposed to a solo artist with session musicians. That means that the guitarist was intentionally in a band that played that kind of music. In 2000, a 20-something man who likely started playing guitar as a teenager because of Eddie Van Halen, or Jimmy Page, or possibly even Kurt Cobain, or some other inspirational guitarist from 1975 to 1995, wound up in a band called Savage Garden - which sounds like a grunge band name - and the end result was this song. I think that's amazing. and hilarious! :: I only know ALL THE SMALL THINGS because I had a copy of Starship Troopers on VHS in my early 20s, and there was a trailer for Can't Hardly Wait, which I always sat through before watching ST because I had lost the VCR remote. And that song was in the trailer. I never saw the movie, so I guess the song didn't do its job. Pop Punk was never for me. :: Editor's note: So after re-reading this, I looked up that trailer on youtube. Turns out ALL THE SMALL THINGS isn't in it. It's actually that song HOW'S IT GONNA BE by Third Eye Blind. So I don't know where I know that song from. I guess it's just a part of American pop culture now. You win this time, Sum 41! Or whatever.
TOP TEN SONGS THIS WEEK IN 1990
1. OPPOSITES ATTRACT by Paula Abdul & The Wild Pair
2. TWO TO MAKE IT RIGHT by Seduction
3. ESCAPADE by Janet Jackson
4. DANGEROUS by Roxette
5. JANIE’S GOT A GUN by Aerosmith
6. WHAT KIND OF MAN WOULD I BE? by Chicago
7. ALL OR NOTHING by Milli Vanilli
8. DOWNTOWN TRAIN by Rod Stewart
9. TELL ME WHY by Expose
10. WE CAN’T GO WRONG by Cover Girls
JAKE: WE CAN'T GO WRONG: Actually you can and you have. :: Aerosmith has apparently recently regained their footing after the weird debacle that saw them fire their original drummer Joey Kramer, who then sued them and is now back in the band. Even though Steven Tyler is a beautiful wing-ed demi-god I can't imagine putting up with him for 47 years. Aerosmith could take a lesson from Def Leppard, who famously kept their drummer Rick Allen in the band after he LOST HIS FUCKING ARM in a car accident. Have a little loyalty guys. You've all lost a step, you're all old, you're all losing it just like Joey, who is a legend. Also JANIE'S GOT A GUN is horrifically bad. :: Expose utilize the swing-16th note groove that was used on every other pop song from 1989 to the first half of 1991 on their hit TELL ME WHY. It has a really great hook that kind of gets drowned in too many bells and whistles.
DAN: So Milli Vanilli became a punchline, mainly because they couldn't sing, even though they could dance their asses off. Meanwhile, Britney Spears has sold trillions of records, Kanye gets to meet with world leaders, and J-Lo won the superbowl. And Kanye can't even dance! So as far as I can tell, Milli Vanilli's only real sin was trying to make a record before AutoTune was invented. On one hand, I applaud the consumers of the 80s (and early 90s) for demanding that professional singers be able to sing. And on the other hand, I applaud today's consumers for saying "anyone can be a famous singer!" Which is to say, Rob and Fab - if you're reading this - I have the AutoTune plug-in! Let's collab! :: ESCAPADE is a really great song. Rhythm Nation was a great album. It was the sound of Middle School dances and pre-teen romance for me. I hope Janet gets to make some kind of comeback. Or at least, I hope she's really happy.
TOP TEN SONGS THIS WEEK IN 1980
1. DO THAT TO ME ONE MORE TIME by The Captain and Tennille
2. CRAZY LITTLE THING CALLED LOVE by Queen
3. COWARD OF THE COUNTY by Kenny Rogers
4. CRUISIN’ by Smokey Robinson
5. ROCK WITH YOU by Michael Jackson
6 .YES, I’M READY by Teri DeSario with K.C.
7. SARA by Fleetwood Mac
8. LONGER by Dan Fogelberg
9. ON THE RADIO by Donna Summer
10. DESIRE by Andy Gibb
JAKE: Donna Summer is back in the top ten this week with the slam dunk ON THE RADIO, just ahead of Andy Gibb's DESIRE, written by his brothers the Bee Gees, who wrote every song on the pop charts between 1977 and the first four months of 1980. It was just about the end of disco, at least as it's presented on these two songs. Most of the elements of disco continued on strong and still continue today, probably more so than ever, just dressed up a little differently. Although on Dua Lipa's DON'T START NOW, in the top ten for two weeks now, they're barely different at all. Here in Brooklyn and I assume plenty of other places disco is still huge, there's disco and disco-adjacent nights everywhere. :: Like last week I again have to apologize to all my fellow Stevie Nicks fans out there for what Dan is about to say. She is obviously a brilliant otherworldly witch-goddess that we don't deserve.
DAN: I think Fleetwood Mac is boring. And Stevie Nicks sings like an oompah loompah. Sorry! :: CRUISIN' is my jam. Though I love pretty much anything Smokey does. He's probably the greatest songwriter of the 20th century (and obviously no one is challenging him in the the 21st yet. And yes, I've tried to give Billie Eilish a chance. Leave me alone!) Plus, Smokey and I share a birthday! With Tony Iommi, no less! (Don't forget to wish us all happy birthdays on Wednesday.) :: LONGER isn't my favorite but I do like Mr. Fogelberg. The leader of the band! I probably only like him because my mom used to put his record on when she was cooking. So his sappy songs made the house smell good. :: COWARD OF THE COUNTY is a super weird song. Musically, it's whatever. But its lyrics are pretty intense. I guess there was some real life beef between Roger Bowling, one of the songwriters, and a real-life Gatlin brother, to the point that Bowling thought defamation in a top ten song was an acceptable form of retribution. Apparently they also made a TV movie out of the song. The 80s were weird.
TOP TEN SONGS THIS WEEK IN 1970
1. THANK YOU (Falettinme Be Mice Elf Agin) / EVERYBODY IS A STAR by Sly and the Family Stone
2. I WANT YOU BACK by Jackson 5
3. RAINDROPS KEEP FALLIN’ ON MY HEAD by B.J. Thomas
4. VENUS by The Shocking Blue
5. HEY THERE LONELY GIRL by Eddie Holman
6. NO TIME by The Guess Who
7. I’LL NEVER FALL IN LOVE AGAIN by Dionne Warwick
8. PSYCHEDELIC SHACK by The Temptations
9. TRAVELIN’ BAND / WHO’LL STOP THE RAIN by Creedence Clearwater Revival
10. ARIZONA by Mark Lindsay
JAKE: PSYCHEDELIC SHACK is great, the Temps are amazing, water is wet. :: According to the internet Burt Bacharach has a net worth of 160 million, which actually seems low, not that anyone needs that much money. This week in 1970 two songs he wrote are in the top ten, and not only that, Mark Lindsay, who is in the top ten this week with his hit ARIZONA, also covers I’LL NEVER FALL IN LOVE AGAIN on the same album ARIZONA is on, and RAINDROPS KEEP FALLIN’ ON MY HEAD is also on the same Dionne Warwick album that I'LL NEVER FALL IN LOVE AGAIN is on. And this is just one week in 1970.
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My special guest this week is a guy I love talking about music with, Dan Kramer. Dan is an absurdly talented bass player, pianist, songwriter, producer and arranger but more importantly he's a great dude. If you've watched TV in the past 10 years you've probably heard his music without realizing it from his work at his production house Skillman Labs. He and Ernest "Ernie" D'Amaso started the Motown influenced band Ernest Ernie and the Sincerities and released two albums, and he also fronts a Thin Lizzy tribute band, Thin Timmy, utilizing his spot on imitation of Phil Lynott.
A quick note: as I mentioned last week the Dream Eaters have a new album out now that you can buy on Bandcamp, and I also mentioned that it would be out on Spotify, Apple Music, etc on February 14th, and it still is not up, for reasons I'm still unclear about, but they stem from my distribution company's seemingly relentless determination to make me look like a buffoon. We're working on it, and it will be up soon. Until then you can either preview or buy the whole thing on Bandcamp.
TOP TEN SONGS THIS WEEK 2020
1. THE BOX by Roddy Rich
2. LIFE IS GOOD by Future featuring Drake
3. CIRCLES by Post Malone
4. MEMORIES by Maroon 5
5. DANCE MONKEY by Tones And I
6. SOMEONE YOU LOVED by Lewis Capaldi
7. ROXANNE by Arizona Zervas
8. 10,000 HOURS by Dan + Shay and Justin Bieber
9. DON'T START NOW by Dua Lipa
10. EVERYTHING I WANTED by Billie Eilish
JAKE: THE BOX being number one again started me thinking about what seems to be the greater likelihood that a contemporary song will hold onto the number one spot for multiple weeks, while the songs from the charts in the years prior to around 2000 seemed to hold on to number one, or any position in the top ten, for a much more limited time. The data seems to bear this out: of the 37 songs that held on at number one for more than 10 weeks, there are, almost unbelievably, only TWO that did this prior to 1990: Debby Boone's "You Light Up My Life" and Olivia Newton John's "Physical". 25 of the remaining 35 are from the last two decades, and while most of them are undeniably catchy, many if not a majority of them are not exactly up to the standard of number ones from prior years like, to use this week as an example, THANK YOU by Sly Stone, or ROCK WITH YOU by Michael Jackson. It seems weird that a song like THE BOX can hold on to number one for 4 consecutive weeks, since it meets almost none of the previously established criteria for a number one song and there is relatively very little that stands out about it . The current longest running number one song of all time is 2019's "Old Town Road" by Lil Nas X, which held the spot for 19 weeks, and while that song has an undeniable hook, that also seems like a pretty long run compared to number ones from prior years. :: If you keep up with the top ten you'll notice that all the songs on it are exactly the same as they were last week, which further demonstrates the chokehold modern songs seem to have on the top of the chart. The list from this week in 1970, for example, has only 3 of the same songs from the list from 1970 four weeks prior, whereas the list from this week in 2020 has 7 of the same songs from the 2020 list four weeks ago. In the list from 1980 only four songs are retained in that same timeframe, in 1990 there are actually only 2, in 2000 there are 5, in 2010 we're back down to 3 again. The current songs, in my opinion, are not of superior quality in any way, so what could be causing this to happen? I will dig deeper in the coming weeks. Stay tuned.
DAN: THE BOX, LIFE IS GOOD, and ROXANNE are all the same song. Wuh. All trap music is the same song. Wuh. I am a white man in my 40s and I am embracing the fuck out of it. Wuh. Also, I remember playing with the Note Repeat button on my MPC back in 1998, thinking that those 32nd note high hats were hilarious. Now they're very cool I guess. Yeh. I also wonder how Cher feels about being the Godmother of Trap. Wuh. (That's an AutoTune joke!) :: I've never actually heard Post Malone, though I really enjoy all those articles talking about how crappy he is. So I assumed that, when I had to listen to CIRCLES, I'd be annoyed or at best, amused. But I can't front, I like it! Obviously, it reminds me of "Runaway Train" by Soul Asylum, since the way he says "run away..." is in the same cadence. But it kinda has a Police vibe, and the instruments sound real too. I ain't mad at it. :: You know how sometimes you'll see a commercial and there will be a song in it that sounds just like a song you know but isn't actually that song? See, video editors often cut commercials to songs they like, and the agency will get used to seeing different cuts to that song. But then when it's time to finish it, they can't afford to license the song so they hire someone with a good working knowledge of copyright law to rip it off. That is what I do for a living. I recently had to do it for MEMORIES. And having deconstructed the song in order to rip it off, I can say that it is an objectively bad song. That is my professional opinion! You could argue with me about it in a court of law and I would win, because courts value professional expertise. Also, it's pretty much just Pachelbel's Canon in D major. But this time it's in B major! :: I don't know if I would like DANCE MONKEY if I hadn't seen the video first. But I did, and I like it! It's weird! And the song is fine I guess. :: SOMEONE YOU LOVED is dull. I mean, he sounds real emotional, like he really means it. But come on. How many times do we have to listen to this progression, with some variation on this same melody? I get it, familiarity is pleasing to the ear. But do we have to keep putting that same song in the top ten?!? I noticed a couple years ago that Dr. Luke (the guy who wrote most of the top ten white people songs of the past twenty years) uses the same interval in the choruses of a disproportionate amount of his songs. It's the 4 to 3 (or fa to mi, if you're into solfege) over one of two chord progressions: vi - IV - I - V or I - V - vi - IV. And this one does it too. It's boring and played out. But I guess congratulations to Lewis Capaldi for... not being Dr. Luke? :: I was never a huge fan of country music, but I could at least get with the aesthetic of the classics. I like Dolly Parton and Johnny Cash, and others from way back. As far as I can tell now though, country music is just boilerplate pop music with exaggerated southern accents. I say "exaggerated" because you can never tell who's British or Australian or even Swedish from listening to a pop song. So the accents are clearly affected for a reason. Anyway, 10,000 HOURS is just another example of that. It's boring. And the songwriting/production sounds like 2000-era boy bands. Is Beiber the new Timberlake? If he isn't yet, I nominate him for that position. :: I dig DON'T START NOW. It's not that creative or anything, but there's a real bass, and there's lots of cool vocal phrasing. She can sing! And I bet it's fun to dance to. I'm like Jake though - you don't want to see me dance. So I won't. :: Billie Eilish is clearly talented. But I think I'm either too old for her music, or just not ever in the right mindset for it. It's like the emo stuff that was happening when I was in my early 20s. Some of it was very well-crafted, but the sentiment was just not for me. I didn't really like Nirvana either. I'm probably just not angsty. But power to her. She's articulating what a lot of people feel. And that's what it's all about!
JAKE AGAIN: Just to unpack what Dan said about the Maroon 5 song sounding like Pachelbel's Canon: first of all, there is almost no way you haven't heard this piece, even if you think you haven't. A canon is, loosely, a piece of music that establishes a melodic line as a centerpiece, and goes on to add new lines that provide counterpoint; in other words new lines that harmonically augment the original line. Picture "Row Row Row Your Boat" when it's sung in rounds; the added lines provide counterpoint to the original line, although in the case of "Row Row Row Your Boat" the counterpoint lines are all the same line as the first line, just repeated at different points in time from where the original line began. Pachelbel's Canon has three different lines, the third of which is nearly identical to the first two melodies in the Maroon 5 song. The harmony (the chord progression) in the Maroon 5 song is also nearly identical to the harmony in Pachelbel's Canon; on a couple of the chords the root note (the bass note) is different but the chords still have the same musical meaning. Can Maroon 5 be sued for this? No. They probably would be if Pachelbel's Canon wasn't firmly in the public domain, in other words it's too old to be protected by copyright laws, meaning anyone can do whatever they want with the song (but that doesn't mean you can just use any recording of the song for anything you want, because a specific recording has a specific owner that has the rights to it). JS Bach was able to write canons with differing counterpoint lines in 6 parts, which is nearly impossible; by the time one gets to the 4th or 5th line, it just starts to sound like every note in the scale is being played at the same time. Even Bach's 6 part canon gets a little murky and unpleasant to listen to and becomes more of a mathematical exercise. Another interesting, albeit obvious, thing Maroon 5 are doing here is taking a song that is often played at graduation ceremonies, copying it musically, and then matching that idea lyrically with yearbook style sentiment. It's definitely a brilliant marketing move because if it catches on as a song that's always played at graduation time, they'll be receiving even more royalty checks for it for the rest of their lives. The rich get richer. If only they had me to guide them, I would tell them not to do corny shit like this and they could make far less money.
TOP TEN SONGS THIS WEEK IN 2010
1. TIK TOK by Ke$ha
2. BAD ROMANCE by Lady Gaga
3. BEDROCK by Young Money featuring Lloyd
4. IMMA BE by the Black Eyed Peas
5. SEXY BITCH/CHICK by David Guetta featuring Akon
6. HOW LOW by Ludacris
7. REPLAY by Iyaz
8. NEED YOU NOW by Lady Antebellum
9. HEY, SOUL SISTER by Train
10. HARD by Rihanna featuring Jeezy
JAKE: The oft-maligned Black Eyed Peas are in the top ten this week with IMMA BE. People really seem to hate these guys but they forget they started at zero as a conscious hip hop act that gained plenty of backpacker cred and worked their way into what they became, and they were very damn good at what they became: a slick, cutting edge force in pop music that didn't take itself too seriously. will.i.am was always one step ahead of the crowd on the pop charts in terms of sonic innovation. :: HOW LOW is a blast, as is most of Ludacris' music. I'm not going to sit down and listen to him while thoughtfully stroking my beard and smoking a pipe, but if it comes on at a party Imma be all "hell yeah!"
DAN: I can't stand Kesha. I mean, I believe her, and I wouldn't wish what happened to her on anyone, and I'm sad that it happened to her (and so many other young women in the industry.) But that said, I think her music is horrible. She perfectly embodies everything about the decline of American culture. Her rapping is a step below Barney Rubble's rap in the old Fruity Pebbles commercial. :: Everything else here is fine I guess. :: I did really like NEED YOU NOW when I first heard it. I don't know if I just like it in relative terms or if it's actually good. But I've always been a sucker for that chord progression. It reminds me of Bob Seger and Edward Scissorhands. That kind of longing for a time that never was. Was Bob Seger ever a young man? It seems like he was born middle-aged and regretful.
TOP TEN SONGS THIS WEEK IN 2000
1. THANK GOD I FOUND YOU by Mariah Carey Featuring Joe & 98 Degrees
2. I KNEW I LOVED YOU by Savage Garden
3. WHAT A GIRL WANTS by Christina Aguilera
4. GET IT ON TONITE by Montell Jordan
5. SMOOTH by Santana featuring Rob Thomas
6. ALL THE SMALL THINGS by Blink-182
7. HOT BOYZ by Missy “Misdemeanor” Elliott Featuring NAS, EVE & Q-Tip
8. MARIA MARIA by Santana Featuring the Product G&B
9. BRING IT ALL TO ME by Blaque
10. SHOW ME THE MEANING OF BEING LONELY by Backstreet Boys
JAKE: ALL THE SMALL THINGS is a super fun song, propelled forward by Travis Barker, one of the best rock drummers at that time. Around 1997 I was in a band that opened for Blink 182, or actually, I think they might have opened for us, and I don't really remember thinking too much of them, which for the thousandth time demonstrates my lack of powers as a prognosticator: it would only be couple years until they were one of the biggest rock bands in the world. :: "MARIA MARIA/she reminds me of a West Side story/ growing up in Spanish Harlem" which is ON THE EAST SIDE. Could one of the 5 people that wrote the song have pointed that out? Also "growing up in Spanish Harlem, she's living a life just like a movie star". Right, she's living just like a movie star, in Spanish Harlem, where all the movie stars live, that makes sense. Wait, now she's suddenly in East LA with no explanation. IT'S NONSENSE. (West Side Story the musical is set in the Upper West Side, which is currently not exactly synonymous with gang wars. But almost immediately after the time that was contemporaneous with the story taking place, Robert Moses-era urban renewal began and subsequently the area was cleared to make way for Lincoln Center. So think about that the next time you're sipping champagne at the ballet.)
DAN: I think HOT BOYZ might be the beginning of 808s on every rap song (outside of Atlanta.) I really like Missy, Nas, Eve and Q-Tip, but this song is just bad. :: I KNEW I LOVED YOU is amazing to me because it's performed by a band, as opposed to a solo artist with session musicians. That means that the guitarist was intentionally in a band that played that kind of music. In 2000, a 20-something man who likely started playing guitar as a teenager because of Eddie Van Halen, or Jimmy Page, or possibly even Kurt Cobain, or some other inspirational guitarist from 1975 to 1995, wound up in a band called Savage Garden - which sounds like a grunge band name - and the end result was this song. I think that's amazing. and hilarious! :: I only know ALL THE SMALL THINGS because I had a copy of Starship Troopers on VHS in my early 20s, and there was a trailer for Can't Hardly Wait, which I always sat through before watching ST because I had lost the VCR remote. And that song was in the trailer. I never saw the movie, so I guess the song didn't do its job. Pop Punk was never for me. :: Editor's note: So after re-reading this, I looked up that trailer on youtube. Turns out ALL THE SMALL THINGS isn't in it. It's actually that song HOW'S IT GONNA BE by Third Eye Blind. So I don't know where I know that song from. I guess it's just a part of American pop culture now. You win this time, Sum 41! Or whatever.
TOP TEN SONGS THIS WEEK IN 1990
1. OPPOSITES ATTRACT by Paula Abdul & The Wild Pair
2. TWO TO MAKE IT RIGHT by Seduction
3. ESCAPADE by Janet Jackson
4. DANGEROUS by Roxette
5. JANIE’S GOT A GUN by Aerosmith
6. WHAT KIND OF MAN WOULD I BE? by Chicago
7. ALL OR NOTHING by Milli Vanilli
8. DOWNTOWN TRAIN by Rod Stewart
9. TELL ME WHY by Expose
10. WE CAN’T GO WRONG by Cover Girls
JAKE: WE CAN'T GO WRONG: Actually you can and you have. :: Aerosmith has apparently recently regained their footing after the weird debacle that saw them fire their original drummer Joey Kramer, who then sued them and is now back in the band. Even though Steven Tyler is a beautiful wing-ed demi-god I can't imagine putting up with him for 47 years. Aerosmith could take a lesson from Def Leppard, who famously kept their drummer Rick Allen in the band after he LOST HIS FUCKING ARM in a car accident. Have a little loyalty guys. You've all lost a step, you're all old, you're all losing it just like Joey, who is a legend. Also JANIE'S GOT A GUN is horrifically bad. :: Expose utilize the swing-16th note groove that was used on every other pop song from 1989 to the first half of 1991 on their hit TELL ME WHY. It has a really great hook that kind of gets drowned in too many bells and whistles.
DAN: So Milli Vanilli became a punchline, mainly because they couldn't sing, even though they could dance their asses off. Meanwhile, Britney Spears has sold trillions of records, Kanye gets to meet with world leaders, and J-Lo won the superbowl. And Kanye can't even dance! So as far as I can tell, Milli Vanilli's only real sin was trying to make a record before AutoTune was invented. On one hand, I applaud the consumers of the 80s (and early 90s) for demanding that professional singers be able to sing. And on the other hand, I applaud today's consumers for saying "anyone can be a famous singer!" Which is to say, Rob and Fab - if you're reading this - I have the AutoTune plug-in! Let's collab! :: ESCAPADE is a really great song. Rhythm Nation was a great album. It was the sound of Middle School dances and pre-teen romance for me. I hope Janet gets to make some kind of comeback. Or at least, I hope she's really happy.
TOP TEN SONGS THIS WEEK IN 1980
1. DO THAT TO ME ONE MORE TIME by The Captain and Tennille
2. CRAZY LITTLE THING CALLED LOVE by Queen
3. COWARD OF THE COUNTY by Kenny Rogers
4. CRUISIN’ by Smokey Robinson
5. ROCK WITH YOU by Michael Jackson
6 .YES, I’M READY by Teri DeSario with K.C.
7. SARA by Fleetwood Mac
8. LONGER by Dan Fogelberg
9. ON THE RADIO by Donna Summer
10. DESIRE by Andy Gibb
JAKE: Donna Summer is back in the top ten this week with the slam dunk ON THE RADIO, just ahead of Andy Gibb's DESIRE, written by his brothers the Bee Gees, who wrote every song on the pop charts between 1977 and the first four months of 1980. It was just about the end of disco, at least as it's presented on these two songs. Most of the elements of disco continued on strong and still continue today, probably more so than ever, just dressed up a little differently. Although on Dua Lipa's DON'T START NOW, in the top ten for two weeks now, they're barely different at all. Here in Brooklyn and I assume plenty of other places disco is still huge, there's disco and disco-adjacent nights everywhere. :: Like last week I again have to apologize to all my fellow Stevie Nicks fans out there for what Dan is about to say. She is obviously a brilliant otherworldly witch-goddess that we don't deserve.
DAN: I think Fleetwood Mac is boring. And Stevie Nicks sings like an oompah loompah. Sorry! :: CRUISIN' is my jam. Though I love pretty much anything Smokey does. He's probably the greatest songwriter of the 20th century (and obviously no one is challenging him in the the 21st yet. And yes, I've tried to give Billie Eilish a chance. Leave me alone!) Plus, Smokey and I share a birthday! With Tony Iommi, no less! (Don't forget to wish us all happy birthdays on Wednesday.) :: LONGER isn't my favorite but I do like Mr. Fogelberg. The leader of the band! I probably only like him because my mom used to put his record on when she was cooking. So his sappy songs made the house smell good. :: COWARD OF THE COUNTY is a super weird song. Musically, it's whatever. But its lyrics are pretty intense. I guess there was some real life beef between Roger Bowling, one of the songwriters, and a real-life Gatlin brother, to the point that Bowling thought defamation in a top ten song was an acceptable form of retribution. Apparently they also made a TV movie out of the song. The 80s were weird.
TOP TEN SONGS THIS WEEK IN 1970
1. THANK YOU (Falettinme Be Mice Elf Agin) / EVERYBODY IS A STAR by Sly and the Family Stone
2. I WANT YOU BACK by Jackson 5
3. RAINDROPS KEEP FALLIN’ ON MY HEAD by B.J. Thomas
4. VENUS by The Shocking Blue
5. HEY THERE LONELY GIRL by Eddie Holman
6. NO TIME by The Guess Who
7. I’LL NEVER FALL IN LOVE AGAIN by Dionne Warwick
8. PSYCHEDELIC SHACK by The Temptations
9. TRAVELIN’ BAND / WHO’LL STOP THE RAIN by Creedence Clearwater Revival
10. ARIZONA by Mark Lindsay
JAKE: PSYCHEDELIC SHACK is great, the Temps are amazing, water is wet. :: According to the internet Burt Bacharach has a net worth of 160 million, which actually seems low, not that anyone needs that much money. This week in 1970 two songs he wrote are in the top ten, and not only that, Mark Lindsay, who is in the top ten this week with his hit ARIZONA, also covers I’LL NEVER FALL IN LOVE AGAIN on the same album ARIZONA is on, and RAINDROPS KEEP FALLIN’ ON MY HEAD is also on the same Dionne Warwick album that I'LL NEVER FALL IN LOVE AGAIN is on. And this is just one week in 1970.
DAN: I love Sly!! Everybody in that band ruled. Though as a bass player myself, I have the most respect for Larry Graham. He invented slappin' da bass! Also he's Drake's uncle, which provides a nice sort of genealogical graph for the decline of American popular music. The Family Stone were one of the first multi-racial groups in pop music, and that was a big deal in 1969! Also, if you ever get a chance, check out THANK YOU FOR TALKING TO ME AFRICA, which is a slower, sparser, version of this song from the album There's A Riot Going On. It's fucking heavy. :: PSYCHEDELIC SHACK is a great tune. I love the Norman Whitfield era Temptations because all those cliches we associate with funk, and blaxploitation movies weren't cliches yet. They were crazy new ideas! And they were coming from the same place (intellectually, if not always geographically) that had set all the standards for the previous decade. I guess the Funk Brothers are pretty well respected at this point, but they don't get enough recognition if you ask me. James Jamerson should be more recognizable than Ed Sherman (or whatever his name is) :: I WANT YOU BACK is obviously a great tune. And talk about funky basslines! Though incidentally, it's not Jamerson on this one. Motown had opened a studio in LA by this point, and Jamerson didn't make the move. And contrary to popular belief, it's not Jermaine either. It was actually a saxophonist named Wilton Felder playing that awesome bassline, trying to get a paycheck out of song with no horn parts. It would be fine if he was getting royalties on it, but he's not. So let his name be known!!
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(this is my personal top ten list from the all the February top tens for every year we're covering here. Much consideration is given to having something from every decade, otherwise it'd probably just be songs from '70 and '80.)
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