WHAT AMERICA WANTS: THE TOP TEN SONGS IN THE NATION: WEEK ENDING MAR 7
Who will it be? Which person soon to cross your path will sneeze in your direction, and thus, like Death himself, touch you with a bony finger? Coronavirus is going to get you, and you are going to get it. It will probably kill you. Be afraid. How will you spend your last days on Earth?
Over here, we're talking about the hits!
We're studying pop music going back 50 years here, starting with this week's top ten chart from the Billboard Hot 100 and working our way backward through the charts from this week in 2010, 2000, 1990, 1980, and 1970, analyzing each separately.
My special guest this week is an amazing singer, my bff and former bandmate: Amanda Khiri! She performs regularly at the legendary 55 Bar in the West Village and she also sang with our pal Ahmed Gallab, aka Sinkane, in his band, touring the world and slaying audiences. Prior to that she'd been slaying audiences on a significantly smaller scale in our band Z&A, which I still think was criminally underrated. She just started recording a podcast called "And Then Some" with our friend (and this blog's first guest writer) Ashawnta Jackson about the consistently undermined contribution of black women to music history. (For more details on that see the interview segment toward the end of this post). Amanda and Ashawnta know an absurd amount about music history so I imagine it's going to be very entertaining. Let's see what Amanda has to say about these hits!
THE TOP TEN SONGS THIS WEEK IN 2020
1. THE BOX by Roddy Rich
2. LIFE IS GOOD by Future featuring Drake
3. CIRCLES by Post Malone
4. ON by BTS
5. DON'T START NOW by Dua Lipa
6. ROXANNE by Arizona Zervas
7. DANCE MONKEY by Tones And I
8. BLINDING LIGHTS by the Weeknd
9. MEMORIES by Maroon 5
10. SOMEONE YOU LOVED by Lewis Capaldi
JAKE: It's amazing how staid and serious the list from 2020 looks compared to this one from just 10 years ago. Has that much changed in 10 years? People no longer go to da club, because da club is contaminated with coronavirus. :: The unfortunately-named Lady Antebellum are hanging in there with NEED YOU NOW, which isn't bad. There's nothing intrinsically racist about the word "Antebellum", it simply means "before the war" in Latin. But of course it has a more specific meaning when applied to American history - it means "before the Civil War". And while, again, there's nothing intrinsically racist about that, I don't know why you'd want to recall that era in your band name, unless you were purposely trying to trigger people, which I doubt was the motivation here, although I don't know, because I know nothing about this band. It's hard to come up with a band name, but I think they could have tried a little harder. Stay tuned for my upcoming project "The Coronavirus Years".
AMANDA: BEDROCK: I don’t want to be a music snob, but in the words of any abusive ex-boyfriend, why are you making me do this?!? This song is …… made for frat boys that graduate without student debt. :: The nicest thing I can say about this IMMA BE, or any of the Black Eyed Peas songs for that matter is: I really enjoyed the movie, tv show, commercial, or cheer leading competition that used this song. :: BAD ROMANCE: I like Lady Gaga. I don’t care. I am not saying I listen to her songs ON PURPOSE, but that bitch works her ass off and she writes her own shit. It’s not bad. Get your shit, boo! :: I used to get pretty low to HOW LOW, but I feel like I got up pretty quickly and sat down, hoping no one was watching. This is now a wedding reception song, and aunties and uncles and grandparents are getting low. Think about that. Musically, I…….. yeah, no. This is executive rap. Algorithims and shit. :: *I reserve the right not to listen to anything with Antebellum in the title. Especially produced by non black folks*. :: RUDE BOY: Musically, I think this entire top ten of 2010 is a dumpster fire. BUT RIHANNA FOREVER, wearing her bra as I type.
THE TOP TEN SONGS THIS WEEK IN 2000
1. AMAZED by Lonestar
2. MARIA MARIA by Santana Featuring the Product G&B
3. BREATHE by Faith Hill
4. I KNEW I LOVED YOU by Savage Garden
5. GET IT ON TONITE by Montell Jordan
6. BYE BYE BYE by NSYNC
7. SHOW ME THE MEANING OF BEING LONELY by the Backstreet Boys
8. THAT’S THE WAY IT IS by Celine Dion
9. ALL THE SMALL THINGS by Blink-182
10. SMOOTH by Santana featuring Rob Thomas
JAKE: I'd just like to reiterate that calling a person SMOOTH doesn't really sound like a compliment, which, I guess it's meant to be. If you applied the idea to skin, as in "your skin is 'smooth'", that does sound like a compliment, but if you as a person are "smooth", it sounds like not a compliment. "That guy is smooth", I picture a snake-oil salesman. I always assumed, without actually looking at the lyrics, that what Thomas was doing was calling someone out on their shit, because tonally that's what he sounds like he's doing. "Give me your heart, make it real or else forget about it" is sung bitingly, almost angrily. And then repeating "oh let's forget about it" over and over again doesn't really fit contextually with a confession of true love. "Because you're so smoo-ooth" sounds more like "you lying snake" coming out of his mouth. "I could change my life to better suit your mood" sounds very sarcastic, not like something that is legitimately on offer. It's a mess. But somehow it works anyway and it was a huge hit that is still beloved so once again we've proven that I know nothing and analyzing songs is stupid but don't worry, I'm going to continue to do it anyway. Unless I die of coronavirus.
AMANDA: Ahhhh 2k. Yes. My 21st year. The year I started to listen to everything except the radio. :: That being said: AMAZED: What is this. They have 83 million plays on Spotify. So I assume this one song makes at least $1,000/year. It is a wedding song, and it is competently written. Sounds like human voices are at play here, too, which is refreshing. It also sounds like an ACTUAL COUNTRY SONG. Fun!! :: MARIA MARIA: THIS SONG IS A BANGER. I put my drink down and my hands up everytime I hear it played. I also pay and leave, because there is nowhere to go but down, after this song is played. Doesn’t matter where you are or who you’re with. :: Whenever I’m getting my nails done, I listen to BREATHE, and think about how I still believed in real love back then. It’s nice. We were so earnest back then, us kids, and thought if we could just find the right trucker hat, we too, could walk down the aisle to our own Tim McGraw. (Fun Fact: They are still together, and I just put this song on a playlist for myself 10/10) :: I KNEW I LOVED YOU: I was a Sandwich Artist at Subway, my senior year of high school. This fucking band was on a Hot 9 at 9 for an entire year. I’ve paid my Savage Garden dues. :: GET IT ON TONITE is such a great R&B song, one of the last great ones, in my opinion. Montell is cute and sexy without being creepy which... is weird when you consider everyone wore baggy matching denim short sets when we were all listening to this. Love it. Montell forever. :: I am so tired of BYE BYE BYE. Still. :: SHOW ME THE MEANING OF BEING LONELY: This is what’s wrong with top ten lists. Boy Bands. I was too old for this. Where is Erykah Badu. :: THAT’S THE WAY IT IS by Celine Dion. The worst that David Foster and Celine Dion could give, and that’s the way it was! (It was actually written by Max Martin, Kristian Lundin, and Andreas Carlsson. Three people, it took, to write this song. Three.) I love love love Celine. Unironically. This song is uninspired dreck and I expect more from my Canadian Queen. :: ALL THE SMALL THINGS eased the pain I felt when I dropped out of college. Cuz then I wouldn’t have to hear this song. :: Remember when I said, after Maria Maria, it isn’t going to get any better? SMOOTH sold a lot of CD’s and I’m happy when any musical master gets his coins. So hats off, Santana. Rob, Hey man! Congrats on the luck with the soundtracks!!
THE TOP TEN SONGS THIS WEEK IN 1990
1. ESCAPADE by Janet Jackson
2. DANGEROUS by Roxette
3. ROAM by The B-52’s
4. BLACK VELVET by Alannah Myles
5. PRICE OF LOVE by Bad English
6. OPPOSITES ATTRACT by Paula Abdul & The Wild Pair
7. NO MORE LIES by Michel’le
8. HERE WE ARE by Gloria Estefan
9. I GO TO EXTREMES by Billy Joel
10. LOVE WILL LEAD YOU BACK by Taylor Dayne
Over here, we're talking about the hits!
We're studying pop music going back 50 years here, starting with this week's top ten chart from the Billboard Hot 100 and working our way backward through the charts from this week in 2010, 2000, 1990, 1980, and 1970, analyzing each separately.
My special guest this week is an amazing singer, my bff and former bandmate: Amanda Khiri! She performs regularly at the legendary 55 Bar in the West Village and she also sang with our pal Ahmed Gallab, aka Sinkane, in his band, touring the world and slaying audiences. Prior to that she'd been slaying audiences on a significantly smaller scale in our band Z&A, which I still think was criminally underrated. She just started recording a podcast called "And Then Some" with our friend (and this blog's first guest writer) Ashawnta Jackson about the consistently undermined contribution of black women to music history. (For more details on that see the interview segment toward the end of this post). Amanda and Ashawnta know an absurd amount about music history so I imagine it's going to be very entertaining. Let's see what Amanda has to say about these hits!
THE TOP TEN SONGS THIS WEEK IN 2020
1. THE BOX by Roddy Rich
2. LIFE IS GOOD by Future featuring Drake
3. CIRCLES by Post Malone
4. ON by BTS
5. DON'T START NOW by Dua Lipa
6. ROXANNE by Arizona Zervas
7. DANCE MONKEY by Tones And I
8. BLINDING LIGHTS by the Weeknd
9. MEMORIES by Maroon 5
10. SOMEONE YOU LOVED by Lewis Capaldi
JAKE: The only new entry here is BTS' ONE. It's fun, but to me it feels a little cultural appropriation-y during the trap section. Also, and I also talked about this last week, it's difficult for any given boy band to get an emotional message across when so many people are sharing the lead vocal. That's too many characters to accommodate in three minutes. With BTS we have 7 people, and beyond that the producers are trying to cram so much into it that it's ephemeral by design; it will sound dated by this time next year, if there is a next year, and we're not all dead from Coronavirus.
AMANDA: MEMORIES: I feel like music lessons are wasted on the wrong people. But I know that that all depends on how much you love money. God Maroon 5. I remember when my music theory teacher tried to use Maroon 5’s other unexplainable hit This Love as an example of II V I. I left the class and haven’t returned. She also tried to use Keyshia Cole’s “Love”. We then had a serious talk about WHY I was taking her class. I feel proud that I made it through this song. That’s my positive note. And now I don’t have to do it again. :: CIRCLES: This song? Love it. It’s one of those songs that Apple will license for those little photo montages you can make so that people will actually look at all those pictures you took on the weekend of the high school reunion. GO RITTER RAIDERS C/O 97!! (Damn I’m old) We all know Post Malone is gonna end up in Enrique Iglesias Muzak territory and no one, least of all his accountant, is mad at that. :: Here’s what I have to say about all of the trap-ish,esque,straight up trap adjacent songs... GET THAT MONEY. I appreciate your honesty and your efficiency concerning how long it takes to write a top ten song. I AM NOT MAD AT YOU AT ALL. :: DON'T START NOW is a banger. Reminds me of early aughts Kylie Minogue/whoever wrote Get Lucky. Their name escapes me. I’ve already added this to my workout mix. :: DANCE MONKEY: I’m so so so against this mashup of the early 00’s biggest losers: auto tune mixed with baby voice... why mature at all? What is the obsession with making everyone think you’re a sexy 5 year old? At the same time, I don’t hate this song. This song would be a featured competition song in the seminal mid 00’s dance reality show called “Dance Moms”, and the kid would win, she would kill it. :: BLINDING LIGHTS reminds me of what a Kenny Loggins first pass would’ve sounded like when he was writing music for Caddyshack. Right before he decided to lower his placement on the vocals. 6/10 don’t hate it, don’t love it. :: SOMEONE YOU LOVED: I’m good. Was this guy on American Idol? This is definitely a breakup song. Makes me wish Casey Kasem was still with us so I could listen to them sappy ass dedications... “to Chelsea, from Tyler. Hey girl, I’m sorry. There’s good stuff here. Call me, I’m spending the night at Tucker’s house.”
THE TOP TEN SONGS THIS WEEK IN 2010
1. IMMA BE by the Black Eyed Peas
2. BEDROCK by Young Money featuring Lloyd
3. NEED YOU NOW by Lady Antebellum
4. TIK TOK by Ke$ha
5. BAD ROMANCE by Lady Gaga
6. HEY, SOUL SISTER by Train
7. HOW LOW by Ludacris
8. RUDE BOY by Rihanna
9. SAY AAH by Trey Songz
10. IN MY HEAD by Jason DeRulo
AMANDA: MEMORIES: I feel like music lessons are wasted on the wrong people. But I know that that all depends on how much you love money. God Maroon 5. I remember when my music theory teacher tried to use Maroon 5’s other unexplainable hit This Love as an example of II V I. I left the class and haven’t returned. She also tried to use Keyshia Cole’s “Love”. We then had a serious talk about WHY I was taking her class. I feel proud that I made it through this song. That’s my positive note. And now I don’t have to do it again. :: CIRCLES: This song? Love it. It’s one of those songs that Apple will license for those little photo montages you can make so that people will actually look at all those pictures you took on the weekend of the high school reunion. GO RITTER RAIDERS C/O 97!! (Damn I’m old) We all know Post Malone is gonna end up in Enrique Iglesias Muzak territory and no one, least of all his accountant, is mad at that. :: Here’s what I have to say about all of the trap-ish,esque,straight up trap adjacent songs... GET THAT MONEY. I appreciate your honesty and your efficiency concerning how long it takes to write a top ten song. I AM NOT MAD AT YOU AT ALL. :: DON'T START NOW is a banger. Reminds me of early aughts Kylie Minogue/whoever wrote Get Lucky. Their name escapes me. I’ve already added this to my workout mix. :: DANCE MONKEY: I’m so so so against this mashup of the early 00’s biggest losers: auto tune mixed with baby voice... why mature at all? What is the obsession with making everyone think you’re a sexy 5 year old? At the same time, I don’t hate this song. This song would be a featured competition song in the seminal mid 00’s dance reality show called “Dance Moms”, and the kid would win, she would kill it. :: BLINDING LIGHTS reminds me of what a Kenny Loggins first pass would’ve sounded like when he was writing music for Caddyshack. Right before he decided to lower his placement on the vocals. 6/10 don’t hate it, don’t love it. :: SOMEONE YOU LOVED: I’m good. Was this guy on American Idol? This is definitely a breakup song. Makes me wish Casey Kasem was still with us so I could listen to them sappy ass dedications... “to Chelsea, from Tyler. Hey girl, I’m sorry. There’s good stuff here. Call me, I’m spending the night at Tucker’s house.”
THE TOP TEN SONGS THIS WEEK IN 2010
1. IMMA BE by the Black Eyed Peas
2. BEDROCK by Young Money featuring Lloyd
3. NEED YOU NOW by Lady Antebellum
4. TIK TOK by Ke$ha
5. BAD ROMANCE by Lady Gaga
6. HEY, SOUL SISTER by Train
7. HOW LOW by Ludacris
8. RUDE BOY by Rihanna
9. SAY AAH by Trey Songz
10. IN MY HEAD by Jason DeRulo
JAKE: It's amazing how staid and serious the list from 2020 looks compared to this one from just 10 years ago. Has that much changed in 10 years? People no longer go to da club, because da club is contaminated with coronavirus. :: The unfortunately-named Lady Antebellum are hanging in there with NEED YOU NOW, which isn't bad. There's nothing intrinsically racist about the word "Antebellum", it simply means "before the war" in Latin. But of course it has a more specific meaning when applied to American history - it means "before the Civil War". And while, again, there's nothing intrinsically racist about that, I don't know why you'd want to recall that era in your band name, unless you were purposely trying to trigger people, which I doubt was the motivation here, although I don't know, because I know nothing about this band. It's hard to come up with a band name, but I think they could have tried a little harder. Stay tuned for my upcoming project "The Coronavirus Years".
AMANDA: BEDROCK: I don’t want to be a music snob, but in the words of any abusive ex-boyfriend, why are you making me do this?!? This song is …… made for frat boys that graduate without student debt. :: The nicest thing I can say about this IMMA BE, or any of the Black Eyed Peas songs for that matter is: I really enjoyed the movie, tv show, commercial, or cheer leading competition that used this song. :: BAD ROMANCE: I like Lady Gaga. I don’t care. I am not saying I listen to her songs ON PURPOSE, but that bitch works her ass off and she writes her own shit. It’s not bad. Get your shit, boo! :: I used to get pretty low to HOW LOW, but I feel like I got up pretty quickly and sat down, hoping no one was watching. This is now a wedding reception song, and aunties and uncles and grandparents are getting low. Think about that. Musically, I…….. yeah, no. This is executive rap. Algorithims and shit. :: *I reserve the right not to listen to anything with Antebellum in the title. Especially produced by non black folks*. :: RUDE BOY: Musically, I think this entire top ten of 2010 is a dumpster fire. BUT RIHANNA FOREVER, wearing her bra as I type.
THE TOP TEN SONGS THIS WEEK IN 2000
1. AMAZED by Lonestar
2. MARIA MARIA by Santana Featuring the Product G&B
3. BREATHE by Faith Hill
4. I KNEW I LOVED YOU by Savage Garden
5. GET IT ON TONITE by Montell Jordan
6. BYE BYE BYE by NSYNC
7. SHOW ME THE MEANING OF BEING LONELY by the Backstreet Boys
8. THAT’S THE WAY IT IS by Celine Dion
9. ALL THE SMALL THINGS by Blink-182
10. SMOOTH by Santana featuring Rob Thomas
JAKE: I'd just like to reiterate that calling a person SMOOTH doesn't really sound like a compliment, which, I guess it's meant to be. If you applied the idea to skin, as in "your skin is 'smooth'", that does sound like a compliment, but if you as a person are "smooth", it sounds like not a compliment. "That guy is smooth", I picture a snake-oil salesman. I always assumed, without actually looking at the lyrics, that what Thomas was doing was calling someone out on their shit, because tonally that's what he sounds like he's doing. "Give me your heart, make it real or else forget about it" is sung bitingly, almost angrily. And then repeating "oh let's forget about it" over and over again doesn't really fit contextually with a confession of true love. "Because you're so smoo-ooth" sounds more like "you lying snake" coming out of his mouth. "I could change my life to better suit your mood" sounds very sarcastic, not like something that is legitimately on offer. It's a mess. But somehow it works anyway and it was a huge hit that is still beloved so once again we've proven that I know nothing and analyzing songs is stupid but don't worry, I'm going to continue to do it anyway. Unless I die of coronavirus.
AMANDA: Ahhhh 2k. Yes. My 21st year. The year I started to listen to everything except the radio. :: That being said: AMAZED: What is this. They have 83 million plays on Spotify. So I assume this one song makes at least $1,000/year. It is a wedding song, and it is competently written. Sounds like human voices are at play here, too, which is refreshing. It also sounds like an ACTUAL COUNTRY SONG. Fun!! :: MARIA MARIA: THIS SONG IS A BANGER. I put my drink down and my hands up everytime I hear it played. I also pay and leave, because there is nowhere to go but down, after this song is played. Doesn’t matter where you are or who you’re with. :: Whenever I’m getting my nails done, I listen to BREATHE, and think about how I still believed in real love back then. It’s nice. We were so earnest back then, us kids, and thought if we could just find the right trucker hat, we too, could walk down the aisle to our own Tim McGraw. (Fun Fact: They are still together, and I just put this song on a playlist for myself 10/10) :: I KNEW I LOVED YOU: I was a Sandwich Artist at Subway, my senior year of high school. This fucking band was on a Hot 9 at 9 for an entire year. I’ve paid my Savage Garden dues. :: GET IT ON TONITE is such a great R&B song, one of the last great ones, in my opinion. Montell is cute and sexy without being creepy which... is weird when you consider everyone wore baggy matching denim short sets when we were all listening to this. Love it. Montell forever. :: I am so tired of BYE BYE BYE. Still. :: SHOW ME THE MEANING OF BEING LONELY: This is what’s wrong with top ten lists. Boy Bands. I was too old for this. Where is Erykah Badu. :: THAT’S THE WAY IT IS by Celine Dion. The worst that David Foster and Celine Dion could give, and that’s the way it was! (It was actually written by Max Martin, Kristian Lundin, and Andreas Carlsson. Three people, it took, to write this song. Three.) I love love love Celine. Unironically. This song is uninspired dreck and I expect more from my Canadian Queen. :: ALL THE SMALL THINGS eased the pain I felt when I dropped out of college. Cuz then I wouldn’t have to hear this song. :: Remember when I said, after Maria Maria, it isn’t going to get any better? SMOOTH sold a lot of CD’s and I’m happy when any musical master gets his coins. So hats off, Santana. Rob, Hey man! Congrats on the luck with the soundtracks!!
THE TOP TEN SONGS THIS WEEK IN 1990
1. ESCAPADE by Janet Jackson
2. DANGEROUS by Roxette
3. ROAM by The B-52’s
4. BLACK VELVET by Alannah Myles
5. PRICE OF LOVE by Bad English
6. OPPOSITES ATTRACT by Paula Abdul & The Wild Pair
7. NO MORE LIES by Michel’le
8. HERE WE ARE by Gloria Estefan
9. I GO TO EXTREMES by Billy Joel
10. LOVE WILL LEAD YOU BACK by Taylor Dayne
JAKE: I really truly love every member of Bad English, but PRICE OF LOVE is so bad, and I don't even remember it, and I can't believe it didn't come and go in a week, it's so bland and boilerplate and forgettable. :: I GO TO EXTREMES is not one of Billy Joel's better songs but it has its moments. I particularly like the when he goes "and if I staaaaand, or I faaaallllll", and "stand" is the 5th note in the scale, and it's over the root chord with the bass playing the 7 and moving to the 6, a staple of his. Quite a few years back (nine years now, shit) I wrote a farcical piece about Billy Joel that you should read. :: Janet is a goddess who's also your best friend, and ESCAPADE is one of her best songs, if not the best.
AMANDA: ESCAPADE: I was 11, and Janet was magic. She was so fun, and all her songs were fun to jump in a circle to. Rhythm Nation was the cassette I asked my parents for at Xmas. I was given Dream Street and her self-titled debut. I don’t think I ever got over it, and I STILL DON’T UNDERSTAND how they could possibly think two terrible tapes made up for one aural masterpiece; one piece of evidence of planets lining up enough to put Jimmy Jam, Terry Lewis and Janet in the room together. RHYTHM NATION 1814, is the documentation of a miracle. Also this video is great. “MINNEAPOLIS!! CMOOOONNNN!!” :: DANGEROUS: I liked the other song better. Joy ride. :: ROAM: I like this better than Love Shack. :: BLACK VELVET Everyone who was ever a teenage girl in the 90s, knows that I’m going to type about “maturing and exploring” with BLACK VELVET on as the soundtrack. :: PRICE OF LOVE: When I See You Smile, their previous hit, came out, I was into it, but this one don’t knock like that one. It also starts with “Girl” which...was a harbinger of things to come. :: This is one of those time that it doesn’t matter if you can sing, OPPOSITES ATTRACT is more of a technological marvel, and serves to showcase the producer’s agility, not the singer’s. But Paula, girl. Whatever, we love you. :: NO MORE LIES: YES YES YES i used to tape this shit off the radio. I did the wop and the cabbage patch to this song. The best song to choreograph a lip sync to with your girls on a Friday night after you prank call boys on your clear phone. :: Gloria Estefan is a Queen. HERE WE ARE is some soft rock realness. :: I GO TO EXTREMES: I love The Long Island Rager. I never saw his musical, but I have such a spot in my heart for 90’s (and prior) Billy. Why do you go to extremes, Billy? Is it because you never made it as a boxer? Who knows? Who Cares. Enjoy The Hamptons. :: Taylor Dayne is MY GIRL. Another singer that black people don’t care if they’re black or white. She can sing the paint off a wall, and STILL make you cry because she knows how to translate the story. LOVE WILL LEAD YOU BACK is an excellent example of that.
THE TOP TEN SONGS THIS WEEK IN 1980
1. CRAZY LITTLE THING CALLED LOVE by Queen
2. YES, I’M READY by Teri DeSario with K.C.
3. LONGER by Dan Fogelberg
4. DESIRE by Andy Gibb
5. ON THE RADIO by Donna Summer
6. ANOTHER BRICK IN THE WALL (Part 2) by Pink Floyd
7. DO THAT TO ME ONE MORE TIME by The Captain and Tennille
8. WORKING MY WAY BACK TO YOU / FORGIVE ME GIRL (Medley) by The Spinners
9. HIM by Rupert Holmes
10. THE SECOND TIME AROUND by Shalamar
JAKE: HIM has the all the elements of a hit of this era but it's incredibly awkward and it never quite lands. :: Shalamar is a wonderful disco-era band that seems to have been mostly forgotten. They have better songs than THE SECOND TIME AROUND though. It's really well executed but again, it never quite lands. Both this song and HIM come very close to the edge of pop greatness, you're waiting with bated breath for the payoff, and it seems like it's just there, just within reach, but it never comes. Ditto for YES I'M READY, but that's because of a vocal performance by two sub-par singers, not because of the song itself. K.C. made some bona fide disco bangers but as a duettist he's underwhelming, as is Teri DeSario. Ditto again for Andy Gibb's DESIRE. :: The rest of this list is solid, CRAZY LITTLE THING CALLED LOVE, ANOTHER BRICK IN THE WALL, and ON THE RADIO are all time great pop songs, you could even add DO THAT TO ME ONE MORE TIME to that list depending on how you were feeling that day. You might not be feeling generous enough if, for example, you had contracted coronavirus.
AMANDA: CRAZY LITTLE THING CALLED LOVE: I still don’t know how Freddy Mercury sang like that. Their music feels so complex, but it isn’t; it’s just that well thought out. :: YES, I’M READY: Barbara Mason’s version or GTFO, this version is contrived shite, and I don’t know why they got the Ambien Twins to do this to this song. :: LONGER: I will stan any song sung by anyone with the last name “Fogelberg”. Sounds like he wears the corduroy jackets with the patches on the elbows and those weird buttons. And it is a pretty song. :: DESIRE: THIS SONG SLAPS, and I’m going to go try to sample it as soon as I get done with this so I don’t want to say too much. :: ON THE RADIO: It’s Donna Summer. Of course it should be on a top ten list. :: ANOTHER BRICK IN THE WALL (Part 2) by Pink Floyd- ehhh I feel like enough has been said about Pink Floyd. :: DO THAT TO ME ONE MORE TIME: RIP y'all. They’re corny and weird. And these songs are corny and weird but they’re jams. I feel like they had a sunken living room and an orange velvet couch. Three Pomeranians. Don’t ask me why I feel this way. :: WORKING MY WAY BACK TO YOU / FORGIVE ME GIRL (Medley) by The Spinners- It’s Fine. Not my favorite Spinners. Very 70s. Buick Riviera music. :: HIM: Yes, Him. :: THE SECOND TIME AROUND: Howard Hewitt was a fine mfucka.
THE TOP TEN SONGS THIS WEEK IN 1970
1. BRIDGE OVER TROUBLED WATER by Simon and Garfunkel
2. TRAVELIN’ BAND / WHO’LL STOP THE RAIN by Creedence Clearwater Revival
3. THE RAPPER by The Jaggerz
4. RAINY NIGHT IN GEORGIA by Brook Benton
5. MA BELLE AMIE by The Tee Set
6. GIVE ME JUST A LITTLE MORE TIME by The Chairmen Of the Board
7. THANK YOU (Falettinme Be Mice Elf Agin) / EVERYBODY IS A STAR by Sly and the Family Stone
8. HEY THERE LONELY GIRL by Eddie Holman
9. HE AIN’T HEAVY, HE’S MY BROTHER by The Hollies
10. EVIL WAYS by Santana
JAKE: This list has only changed slightly since last week with the entrance of EVIL WAYS and the exit of RAINDROPS KEEP FALLIN ON MY HEAD. (note to self: "The Entrance of Evil Ways" is a good title for my metal album). Evil Ways is a stone cold classic of course.
AMANDA: BRIDGE OVER TROUBLED WATER: this song is gorgeous, heard he wrote it in like 5 minutes. The ROI on that is SAAAAWEEEET. Also Areatha’s interpretation is the best... why dontcha why dontcha let it beeeeeeeee. :: TRAVELIN’ BAND / WHO’LL STOP THE RAIN: I always yell “CCR!!!!!!” Because I love me some gravelly voiced funk. That being said this isn’t my fav song. Is Ike Turner ACTUALLY PLAYING GUITAR or nah? This is an example of a song where you can ONLY hear their influences and their personality gets lost. All I hear is Chuck Berry and Ike Turner. No wonder Ike wanted to do Proud Mary. He needed to get some money back! CCR skillfully Pat Booned errbody. Still enjoy...but... cmon. :: THE RAPPER: I don’t know, maaan... :: RAINY NIGHT IN GEORGIA: There used to be a bar in New Orleans called Donnas. They used to serve red beans and rice and had the finest bartender that side of Congo Square. I can smell the dampness after the rain stops and I can smell the red beans and rice with my fork scratching across that styrofoam plate, other hand holding a sweaty MGD. That’s what this song does to me... :: GIVE ME JUST A LITTLE MORE TIME is another song that makes me see the pea green walls and green shag carpet of my toddler years. This is the definitive 70s song. :: THANK YOU (Falettinme Be Mice Elf Agin) / EVERYBODY IS A STAR: I love how he dgaf about spelling. Sly...Family Stone is one of those bands that is so ingrained into my musical vocabulary that it’s like discussing the word “the”. Does it seem that revolutionary? No. Is it amazing? Yes. So this song, along with the rest of them are just essential to the conversation about music. Can’t have one without the other. All that being said, I’m bored of this song and too many people rip off Sly and I don’t think they are ever successful. :: HEY THERE LONELY GIRL was on that album that was advertised on BET when they sold albums and had commercials with the four people on the double date. One dude puts a record on and “HEEEEEEYYY THERE LONELY GIIIIRRRLL!!” comes on. The other dude is like,
“Hey man, that’s groovy!! What album is that?” And then they advertise the album. I was like 7 years old hitting all them notes. I love love love that song... :: HE AIN’T HEAVY, HE’S MY BROTHER: Ahhhh still trying to keep that 60s vibe. By the 80’s it was like “fuck you! Help will trickle down!! You’re actually very heavy, btw”... :: I used to jam to EVIL WAYS in my Honda Civic rolling around IU’s campus in Bloomington. Yeeeeeaaaaahhh people didn’t really get me....
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AMANDA KHIRI: THE INTERVIEW.
JAKE: You're from Indianapolis and you're a Pacers fan. Who's your favorite Pacer of all time?
AMANDA: My favorite Pacer of all time is Reggie Miller. I will still start shit with John Starks if I ever see him. Just out of solidarity. ‘93-‘95 were WATERSHED years for me in terms of becoming a young lady and learning how to talk shit.
JAKE: Does Indianapolis have some kind of regional food that we don't have here in NYC?
AMANDA: Ranch? Casserole? Corn? I don’t know. I don’t think so. They call Indiana the Crossroads of America because nothing we have is original. It either came from indigenous populations who were already chilling in the Hoosier State, or it's been donated from whomever passed through. Whutevs.
JAKE: You've played shows all over the world. What's been your favorite place to play?
AMANDA: ESCAPADE: I was 11, and Janet was magic. She was so fun, and all her songs were fun to jump in a circle to. Rhythm Nation was the cassette I asked my parents for at Xmas. I was given Dream Street and her self-titled debut. I don’t think I ever got over it, and I STILL DON’T UNDERSTAND how they could possibly think two terrible tapes made up for one aural masterpiece; one piece of evidence of planets lining up enough to put Jimmy Jam, Terry Lewis and Janet in the room together. RHYTHM NATION 1814, is the documentation of a miracle. Also this video is great. “MINNEAPOLIS!! CMOOOONNNN!!” :: DANGEROUS: I liked the other song better. Joy ride. :: ROAM: I like this better than Love Shack. :: BLACK VELVET Everyone who was ever a teenage girl in the 90s, knows that I’m going to type about “maturing and exploring” with BLACK VELVET on as the soundtrack. :: PRICE OF LOVE: When I See You Smile, their previous hit, came out, I was into it, but this one don’t knock like that one. It also starts with “Girl” which...was a harbinger of things to come. :: This is one of those time that it doesn’t matter if you can sing, OPPOSITES ATTRACT is more of a technological marvel, and serves to showcase the producer’s agility, not the singer’s. But Paula, girl. Whatever, we love you. :: NO MORE LIES: YES YES YES i used to tape this shit off the radio. I did the wop and the cabbage patch to this song. The best song to choreograph a lip sync to with your girls on a Friday night after you prank call boys on your clear phone. :: Gloria Estefan is a Queen. HERE WE ARE is some soft rock realness. :: I GO TO EXTREMES: I love The Long Island Rager. I never saw his musical, but I have such a spot in my heart for 90’s (and prior) Billy. Why do you go to extremes, Billy? Is it because you never made it as a boxer? Who knows? Who Cares. Enjoy The Hamptons. :: Taylor Dayne is MY GIRL. Another singer that black people don’t care if they’re black or white. She can sing the paint off a wall, and STILL make you cry because she knows how to translate the story. LOVE WILL LEAD YOU BACK is an excellent example of that.
THE TOP TEN SONGS THIS WEEK IN 1980
1. CRAZY LITTLE THING CALLED LOVE by Queen
2. YES, I’M READY by Teri DeSario with K.C.
3. LONGER by Dan Fogelberg
4. DESIRE by Andy Gibb
5. ON THE RADIO by Donna Summer
6. ANOTHER BRICK IN THE WALL (Part 2) by Pink Floyd
7. DO THAT TO ME ONE MORE TIME by The Captain and Tennille
8. WORKING MY WAY BACK TO YOU / FORGIVE ME GIRL (Medley) by The Spinners
9. HIM by Rupert Holmes
10. THE SECOND TIME AROUND by Shalamar
JAKE: HIM has the all the elements of a hit of this era but it's incredibly awkward and it never quite lands. :: Shalamar is a wonderful disco-era band that seems to have been mostly forgotten. They have better songs than THE SECOND TIME AROUND though. It's really well executed but again, it never quite lands. Both this song and HIM come very close to the edge of pop greatness, you're waiting with bated breath for the payoff, and it seems like it's just there, just within reach, but it never comes. Ditto for YES I'M READY, but that's because of a vocal performance by two sub-par singers, not because of the song itself. K.C. made some bona fide disco bangers but as a duettist he's underwhelming, as is Teri DeSario. Ditto again for Andy Gibb's DESIRE. :: The rest of this list is solid, CRAZY LITTLE THING CALLED LOVE, ANOTHER BRICK IN THE WALL, and ON THE RADIO are all time great pop songs, you could even add DO THAT TO ME ONE MORE TIME to that list depending on how you were feeling that day. You might not be feeling generous enough if, for example, you had contracted coronavirus.
AMANDA: CRAZY LITTLE THING CALLED LOVE: I still don’t know how Freddy Mercury sang like that. Their music feels so complex, but it isn’t; it’s just that well thought out. :: YES, I’M READY: Barbara Mason’s version or GTFO, this version is contrived shite, and I don’t know why they got the Ambien Twins to do this to this song. :: LONGER: I will stan any song sung by anyone with the last name “Fogelberg”. Sounds like he wears the corduroy jackets with the patches on the elbows and those weird buttons. And it is a pretty song. :: DESIRE: THIS SONG SLAPS, and I’m going to go try to sample it as soon as I get done with this so I don’t want to say too much. :: ON THE RADIO: It’s Donna Summer. Of course it should be on a top ten list. :: ANOTHER BRICK IN THE WALL (Part 2) by Pink Floyd- ehhh I feel like enough has been said about Pink Floyd. :: DO THAT TO ME ONE MORE TIME: RIP y'all. They’re corny and weird. And these songs are corny and weird but they’re jams. I feel like they had a sunken living room and an orange velvet couch. Three Pomeranians. Don’t ask me why I feel this way. :: WORKING MY WAY BACK TO YOU / FORGIVE ME GIRL (Medley) by The Spinners- It’s Fine. Not my favorite Spinners. Very 70s. Buick Riviera music. :: HIM: Yes, Him. :: THE SECOND TIME AROUND: Howard Hewitt was a fine mfucka.
THE TOP TEN SONGS THIS WEEK IN 1970
1. BRIDGE OVER TROUBLED WATER by Simon and Garfunkel
2. TRAVELIN’ BAND / WHO’LL STOP THE RAIN by Creedence Clearwater Revival
3. THE RAPPER by The Jaggerz
4. RAINY NIGHT IN GEORGIA by Brook Benton
5. MA BELLE AMIE by The Tee Set
6. GIVE ME JUST A LITTLE MORE TIME by The Chairmen Of the Board
7. THANK YOU (Falettinme Be Mice Elf Agin) / EVERYBODY IS A STAR by Sly and the Family Stone
8. HEY THERE LONELY GIRL by Eddie Holman
9. HE AIN’T HEAVY, HE’S MY BROTHER by The Hollies
10. EVIL WAYS by Santana
JAKE: This list has only changed slightly since last week with the entrance of EVIL WAYS and the exit of RAINDROPS KEEP FALLIN ON MY HEAD. (note to self: "The Entrance of Evil Ways" is a good title for my metal album). Evil Ways is a stone cold classic of course.
AMANDA: BRIDGE OVER TROUBLED WATER: this song is gorgeous, heard he wrote it in like 5 minutes. The ROI on that is SAAAAWEEEET. Also Areatha’s interpretation is the best... why dontcha why dontcha let it beeeeeeeee. :: TRAVELIN’ BAND / WHO’LL STOP THE RAIN: I always yell “CCR!!!!!!” Because I love me some gravelly voiced funk. That being said this isn’t my fav song. Is Ike Turner ACTUALLY PLAYING GUITAR or nah? This is an example of a song where you can ONLY hear their influences and their personality gets lost. All I hear is Chuck Berry and Ike Turner. No wonder Ike wanted to do Proud Mary. He needed to get some money back! CCR skillfully Pat Booned errbody. Still enjoy...but... cmon. :: THE RAPPER: I don’t know, maaan... :: RAINY NIGHT IN GEORGIA: There used to be a bar in New Orleans called Donnas. They used to serve red beans and rice and had the finest bartender that side of Congo Square. I can smell the dampness after the rain stops and I can smell the red beans and rice with my fork scratching across that styrofoam plate, other hand holding a sweaty MGD. That’s what this song does to me... :: GIVE ME JUST A LITTLE MORE TIME is another song that makes me see the pea green walls and green shag carpet of my toddler years. This is the definitive 70s song. :: THANK YOU (Falettinme Be Mice Elf Agin) / EVERYBODY IS A STAR: I love how he dgaf about spelling. Sly...Family Stone is one of those bands that is so ingrained into my musical vocabulary that it’s like discussing the word “the”. Does it seem that revolutionary? No. Is it amazing? Yes. So this song, along with the rest of them are just essential to the conversation about music. Can’t have one without the other. All that being said, I’m bored of this song and too many people rip off Sly and I don’t think they are ever successful. :: HEY THERE LONELY GIRL was on that album that was advertised on BET when they sold albums and had commercials with the four people on the double date. One dude puts a record on and “HEEEEEEYYY THERE LONELY GIIIIRRRLL!!” comes on. The other dude is like,
“Hey man, that’s groovy!! What album is that?” And then they advertise the album. I was like 7 years old hitting all them notes. I love love love that song... :: HE AIN’T HEAVY, HE’S MY BROTHER: Ahhhh still trying to keep that 60s vibe. By the 80’s it was like “fuck you! Help will trickle down!! You’re actually very heavy, btw”... :: I used to jam to EVIL WAYS in my Honda Civic rolling around IU’s campus in Bloomington. Yeeeeeaaaaahhh people didn’t really get me....
_________________________
AMANDA KHIRI: THE INTERVIEW.
JAKE: You're from Indianapolis and you're a Pacers fan. Who's your favorite Pacer of all time?
AMANDA: My favorite Pacer of all time is Reggie Miller. I will still start shit with John Starks if I ever see him. Just out of solidarity. ‘93-‘95 were WATERSHED years for me in terms of becoming a young lady and learning how to talk shit.
JAKE: Does Indianapolis have some kind of regional food that we don't have here in NYC?
AMANDA: Ranch? Casserole? Corn? I don’t know. I don’t think so. They call Indiana the Crossroads of America because nothing we have is original. It either came from indigenous populations who were already chilling in the Hoosier State, or it's been donated from whomever passed through. Whutevs.
JAKE: You've played shows all over the world. What's been your favorite place to play?
AMANDA: Oooohhh probably Barcelona [with Sinkane]. It was my birthday week and we played Panorama festival in the same place they held the Olympics. Very cool.
JAKE: You're doing a podcast called "And Then Some" with Ashawnta Jackson, when is that coming out and what's it all about?
AMANDA: So excited!! We want to start the conversation around rewriting the American Music Canon to be more inclusive, specifically of Black Women and our contributions. Like how y’all think the banjo got here?? Us. Why do you think The Rolling Stones were so popular? Cuz they sounded like....black people. 90% of the all-time popular songs have a black woman’s hand on it in some way. But those stories stay in the dark. We illuminate those women and retell those stories!! It’s fun and informative and it’s basically two music nerds nerding allll the way out.
_________________________
Follow my band the Dream Eaters so you can write your own blog about how stupid my songs are.
Twitter: @dreameatersband
Facebook: @dreameatersband
Instagram: @dreameatersband
Web: thedreameaters.com
Listen on Spotify, Apple Music, Amazon Prime; just pick an evil corporation and you'll find us there.
JAKE: You're doing a podcast called "And Then Some" with Ashawnta Jackson, when is that coming out and what's it all about?
AMANDA: So excited!! We want to start the conversation around rewriting the American Music Canon to be more inclusive, specifically of Black Women and our contributions. Like how y’all think the banjo got here?? Us. Why do you think The Rolling Stones were so popular? Cuz they sounded like....black people. 90% of the all-time popular songs have a black woman’s hand on it in some way. But those stories stay in the dark. We illuminate those women and retell those stories!! It’s fun and informative and it’s basically two music nerds nerding allll the way out.
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(this is my personal top ten list from the all the March top tens for every year we're covering here. Much consideration is given to having something from every decade, otherwise it'd probably just be songs from '70 and '80.)
(this one are my personal faves from just this year.)
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(this one are my personal faves from just this year.)
___________________
Follow my band the Dream Eaters so you can write your own blog about how stupid my songs are.
Twitter: @dreameatersband
Facebook: @dreameatersband
Instagram: @dreameatersband
Web: thedreameaters.com
Listen on Spotify, Apple Music, Amazon Prime; just pick an evil corporation and you'll find us there.