WAIT THERE'S STILL A TOP TEN LIST? THE TOP TEN SONGS IN THE NATION: WEEK ENDING APRIL 10th 2020

Hey all you cool cats and kittens.

In all great likelihood, most of us will remember what we were doing the week ending April 10th, 2020. Or, perhaps more accurately, what we weren't doing. These are strange times. But, if you're like me, which hopefully you aren't, you might be surprised to find out that there still exists a Billboard chart of the top songs in the nation, and so we therefore have no choice but to return to the important task of over-analyzing it. We can't let the coronavirus win.

Before we get started though, a shameless plug: my band The Dream Eaters, due in large part to the recent upending of the entire world, have delayed releasing the video for our song "Crucifix (2020 mix)", and there are many amongst our several fans who consider this to be, possibly, the most devastating side effect of the whole pandemic. It is either the worst time to finally release a song in which the lyric "hangin' out alone" is repeated 20 times, or the best time, depending on how sad you like to be. In any case releasing it is just exactly what we're doing today. You can watch it on YouTube starting now. You can also listen to it on Spotify or Apple Music, or buy it on Bandcamp.

With that having been said, let's move on to the business at hand. Business-ing with me this week is one of my best-est friends of all time, Paul Natale. Paul and I were in several bands together in the 90's which were really awesome, trust me, there's no evidence of it online, so don't look into it, and we also lived together around that same time. It was one of the best times of my life and I have no doubt that Paul's inclusion in it was one of the main reasons for that. The same goes for his winsome wife Melissa Natale née Nicienski. Paul is now the president of Murray Hill Talent, which prior to a month ago was a successful Boston area booking agency for wedding bands and DJ's, back when there were still weddings and things you needed DJ's for (arguably). He remains one of the funniest people I know, so let's see what he has to say about these top tens! 


TOP TEN SONGS THIS WEEK IN 2020

1. BLINDING LIGHTS by The Weeknd
2. THE BOX by Roddy Rich
3. DON'T STOP NOW by Dua Lipa
4. CIRCLES by Post Malone
5. HEARTLESS by The Weeknd
6. LIFE IS GOOD by Future featuring Drake
7. ADORE YOU by Harry Styles
8. INTENTIONS by Justin Bieber
9. SAY SO by Doja Cat
10. ROXANNE by Arizona Zervas

JAKE: This is a shockingly good top ten, one of the best in recent memory, perhaps even one of the best since the 80's. :: The Weeknd's BLINDING LIGHTS is a beautiful track, and when it first cracked the top ten I never would have guessed it would reach number one. It's introspective and bleak, which is matched tonally by the production, and despite the introspection the song still manages to work as an uptempo number, a difficult trick to pull off. On his other entry HEARTLESS he remains introspective, and again the futuristic production echoes the emptiness and self-loathing. :: Dua Lipa's DON'T STOP NOW is an all out disco banger with killer production and she executes the role of disco queen with aplomb. I really liked the fact that this song has a real bass in it before I realized that it might be a synthesizer and in looking at the personnel listing there is no bass player listed, so it probably is a synthesizer, but whatever it sounds good anyway :: Harry Styles' ADORE YOU is super solid and reminds me of Miguel, particularly his 2015 track "Waves", one of my favorite tunes of that entire decade; the magical, psychedelic remix that Tame Impala did is arguably better than the original. Harry's vocal, though, is needlessly over-processed. Producers have been putting too much shit on vocals since time immemorial and I think in this case all the processing was done in order to make the vocal pop out of the mix, which shouldn't be necessary if you've got a good arrangement and they do so it isn't necessary here. The heavy handed, brittle-sounding digital processing only serves to distract from the excellent performance. :: The Biebs has of the best vocal sounds in pop, because he and/or his producers wisely realize there is no need to layer extraneous processing over it; his voice is so pure that you throw a quality mic in front of him and you're already there. The sweet, earnest  INTENTIONS is one of the best tracks he's ever done. :: Doja Cat's first appearance in the top ten, SAY SO, is a killer disco track with a real guitar in it, which is getting increasingly rare in the top ten these days. Rhythmically the guitar comes very close to Chic's Good Times, but hey, if you're going to rip off a disco guitar player, certainly make it Nile Rodgers.

PAUL: I’ve always been afraid of becoming “that guy.” You know the guy - the dad in his 50s who always thinks the most current popular music is the worst popular music ever. Thankfully I’ve avoided being “that guy” - for the longest time I thought the late 80’s were pop music’s worst five year period of all time. Until the last few years came along. Lately I find myself saying Dad things like “They should just come up with a different term for this crap instead of music - It’s an insult to people who actually make music,” or “Enough with the goddamn autotune already!” That being said, I was surprised to hear I didn’t completely hate seven of this week’s top ten songs. And I genuinely like three of them! Jake thought it would be a good idea to ask my family (wife Melissa, 16 y/o daughter Evelyn and 11 y/o son Quinn) to participate in this as well. Both kids immediately asked to be paid for their contributions, by the way. :: Nice to hear BLINDING LIGHTS paying tribute to 80s synth groups like A-Ha, Alphaville,etc. Kudos for a BPM that’s more than twice as fast as a lot of today’s hits. Bold move, Weeknd (is that his name? Weeknd?). :: Doja Cat's SAY SO is my jam! I love the Nile Rodgers-esque guitar line, four-on-the-floor mid-tempo beat, and hand claps. Now that I think of it, it’s pretty much a retread of Daft Punk & Pharrell’s “Get Lucky,” which is always welcome in my headspace. Bonus points for the “ass & titties” line in the rap part. :: Drake’s part in LIFE IS GOOD is horrendous, then it suddenly gets better by getting worse when the beat changes and Future starts rapping. He’s a much better rapper than Drake, which isn’t saying much. What’s with songs having two completely separate parts now? Is that a thing?

QUINN (Paul's aforementioned 11 year old son):  ROXANNE is just absolute doodoo. It just keeps saying “Roxanne, Roxanne Roxanne,” I mean, why Roxanne?

EVELYN (Paul's aforementioned 16 year old daughter): INTENTIONS? By Justin Bieber? More like a snooze-fest, I thought Justin Bieber retired.

MELISSA (Paul's aforementioned winsome wife): DON’T START NOW: I love this song. I love the bass line. I love the catchy lyrics. When it comes on the radio and I’m driving to work, I’m no longer a librarian with two kids who lives in the burbs - I’m young and on the dance floor giving two middle fingers to all my ex-boyfriends. I’m also wearing a crop top. That’s how this song makes me feel...it’s all crop tops and dancing and middle fingers.


TOP TEN SONGS THIS WEEK IN 2010

1. RUDE BOY by Rihanna
2. NOTHIN’ ON YOU by B.o.B featuring Bruno Mars
3. TELEPHONE by Lady Gaga featuring Beyonce
4. NEED YOU NOW by Lady Antebellum
5. BREAK YOUR HEART by Taio Cruz featuring Ludacris
6. IMMA BE by the Black Eyed Peas
7. HEY, SOUL SISTER by Train
8. BEDROCK by Young Money featuring Lloyd
9. TIK TOK by Ke$ha
10. BABY by Justin Bieber featuring Ludacris

JAKE: It's not a contest, but this list is not anywhere as good as the current one, which I find oddly heartening. To me it's exhilarating that we can put our faith in the kids, the kids know what's up. :: RUDE BOY is great exclusively during the first two lines of the hook, and everything other than that sounds like filler. :: NOTHIN' ON YOU has an undeniable hook which sounds like a classic, like everything does when it's coming out of the mouth of Bruno Mars. :: I don't really care for TELEPHONE and I think there's a good chance Gaga doesn't think much of it either; a quick search for live versions of the song on YouTube yields very few recent results, and in fact most of the results are nearly contemporaneous with the song's release ten years ago.

PAUL: The best part of any song featuring a Ludacris rap is always Ludacris’ rap. BREAK YOUR HEART is the exception. Luda (I call him Luda) pretty much phones it in on this one. Still, it’s another nice 120 BPM dance floor epic from that era. Speaking of Luda raps, BABY is much better than I remembered it. I can’t believe how much the Biebs sounds like a little boy in this one. But Luda (remember, I call him Luda) is on fire here. :: NEED YOU NOW pulls off the near impossible feat of being a modern country song that isn’t painful to listen to. Nice chord changes, guitar solo, and the line ”Guess I'd rather hurt than feel nothing at all” sounds like it was written from genuine experience rather than professionally written, focus group chosen country music cliches.

(the following is an exchange between Melissa and Evelyn)

MELISSA: I like TELEPHONE.

EVELYN: That’s because it’s a Bop.

MELISSA: A what?

EVELYN: A Bop, Mom, you know, you can bop to it.

MELISSA: I still have no idea what that is, but I like it!

EVELYN: Beyonce is a Queen.

MELISSA: I like to call Beyonce ‘Bey.’

EVELYN: Bey is OK. I like Lady Gaga’s outfits.

MELISSA: That has nothing to do with the song though. I hate talking on the telephone so I can relate to this song. "Stop calling me because I’m trying to dance" is the story of my life. I like EDM so I approve of that distorted static-y synth sound in the background. Evelyn, since we’re stuck inside, we should come up with a dance routine to this song.

EVELYN:  No.


TOP TEN SONGS THIS WEEK IN 2000

1. SAY MY NAME by Destiny’s Child
2. MARIA MARIA by Santana Featuring the Product G&B
3. BREATHE by Faith Hill
4. AMAZED by Lonestar
5. BYE BYE BYE by NSYNC
6. SHOW ME THE MEANING OF BEING LONELY by Backstreet Boys
7. GET IT ON TONITE by Montell Jordan
8. SMOOTH by Santana featuring Rob Thomas
9. THAT’S THE WAY IT IS by Celine Dion
10. THONG SONG by Sisqo

JAKE: I was surprised to learn, only just now, that SAY MY NAME was not produced by Timbaland, and in fact Timbaland only produced one Destiny's Child track, even though the rest of their catalog also sounds very much like his production. He did remix Say My Name though, which even for a remix bears almost no resemblance to the original, and he also did a guest vocal on his own remix, which is SO Timbaland. :: Again this list is not nearly as solid as the current one, and again I find that heartening.

PAUL: THONG SONG is brilliant, because it’s a well crafted, dramatic, polyrhythmic ode to butt floss - featuring a classical string section and emotional vocal riffing over an uplifting modulation toward the end. My jam!

QUINN: GET IT ON TONITE makes me feel weird. It’s bad. I don’t like the style. :: I like the background music in BYE BYE BYE but I don’t really like his voice that much. It makes me want to dance (He then dances around for a minute and leaves the room).


TOP TEN SONGS THIS WEEK IN 1990

1. LOVE WILL LEAD YOU BACK by Taylor Dayne
2. I’LL BE YOUR EVERYTHING by Tommy Page
3. ALL AROUND THE WORLD by Lisa Stansfield
4. I WISH IT WOULD RAIN DOWN by Phil Collins
5. BLACK VELVET by Alannah Myles
6. DON’T WANNA FALL IN LOVE by Jane Child
7. GET UP! (BEFORE THE NIGHT IS OVER) by Technotronic
8. HERE AND NOW by Luther Vandross
9. NOTHING COMPARES 2 U by Sinead O’Connor
10. FOREVER by KISS

JAKE: WOW this list is bad. ALL AROUND THE WORLD is a saving grace (although it may be the most redundant pop song ever written), as is NOTHING COMPARES 2 U and arguably HERE AND NOW, which isn't a great song but Luther could sing the phone book and it would work. :: I don't know much about Technotronic besides Pump Up The Jam, but I think we'd be pretty safe in characterizing that song as lightning in a bottle and ignoring the rest of their catalog if GET UP is any indication. :: BLACK VELVET is tearfully boring and way too fucking long. :: I love KISS but FOREVER is terrible, Paul sounds incredibly uncomfortable singing it, and I'm pretty sure the last time they played it live was 1990, and if they played it more recently than that they shouldn't have and they should be ashamed of themselves, although it seems unlikely that shame is ever a feeling felt by KISS. Despite their massive success, this song was only one of two top ten hits for them, the other being Beth, in 1975, a much better song.

PAUL: BLACK VELVET was the last song boomers listened to before they swore off all new music. “She’s got a set of pipes on her - easy on the eyes, too,” I can hear someone like my Dad saying as he watches her belting out bluesy numbers at some bar in a strip mall. It’s also the kind of music you’d see and hear in bad 80s/90s movie where they can’t afford a real band.

MELISSA: ALL AROUND THE WORLD came out the year I graduated from high school. At the time I was listening to The Smiths and The Cure and I’m pretty sure I thought I was too cool for this song. Listening to it now in my 40s I like it. If it came on some adult contemporary easy listening radio station, would I keep it on? I think the answer would be yes. Would I sing along? That’s another yes.


TOP TEN SONGS THIS WEEK IN 1980

1. ANOTHER BRICK IN THE WALL (Part 2) by Pink Floyd
2. WORKING MY WAY BACK TO YOU / FORGIVE ME GIRL (Medley) by The Spinners
3. CALL ME by Blondie
4. CRAZY LITTLE THING CALLED LOVE by Queen
5. TOO HOT by Kool and the Gang
6. HIM by Rupert Holmes
7. RIDE LIKE THE WIND by Christopher Cross
8. SPECIAL LADY by Ray, Goodman and Brown
9. DESIRE by Andy Gibb
10. HOW DO I MAKE YOU by Linda Ronstadt

PAUL: What’s your favorite Rupert Holmes song? Mine is Escape (The Piña Colada Song). I always make that hilarious joke when an artist has only one hit, but apparently I can’t make that joke about Rupert Holmes anymore because HIM was also a top 10 hit! Damnit. It’s pretty much what you’d expect - electric piano, awkward, storytelling lyrical style about a love triangle, boring string flourishes. Interesting choice to have Rupert perform the solo section singing “Wooo Hoo Oooh”. I could see Will Farrell doing something like that in one of his 47 movies where he plays a silly buffoon. I don’t think Rupert was trying to be funny when he did it though.

QUINN: I like the voice a lot on CRAZY LITTLE THING CALLED LOVE; the lyrics were cool. They were weird, and they talked about how love is crazy.

EVELYN: ANOTHER BRICK IN THE WALL - I think we should all revolt against education more. There’s a reason so many kids hate it, because it has its flaws. I like the guitar solo. Really talented. I like the kids’ British accents.

JAKE: Pink Floyd continue to win the hearts and minds of 16-year-olds, something they've been doing since 1967. It's only a matter of time before Evelyn is syncing up Dark Side of the Moon with The Wizard of Oz and reading Nietzsche.


TOP TEN SONGS THIS WEEK IN 1970

1. BRIDGE OVER TROUBLED WATER by Simon and Garfunkel
2. LET IT BE by The Beatles
3. INSTANT KARMA by John Lennon
4. ABC by Jackson 5
5. LOVE GROWS (Where My Rosemary Goes) by Edison Lighthouse
6. SPIRIT IN THE SKY by Norman Greenbaum
7. HOUSE OF THE RISING SUN by Frijid Pink
8. THE RAPPER by The Jaggerz
9. COME AND GET IT by Badfinger
10. EASY COME, EASY GO by Bobby Sherman

JAKE: This is a killer top ten: we have two great songs written by Paul McCartney in LET IT BE and COME AND GET IT, one written by John Lennon in the blistering INSTANT KARMA, one of best ballads of all time in BRIDGE OVER TROUBLED WATER, The Jackson 5 crushing it on ABC, and the groovy SPIRIT IN THE SKY, a song about getting right with Jesus, sung by Norman Greenbaum, an observant Jew, who grew up in Malden Massachusetts, which, tying it all together, is about 200 yards from where the Natale family lives. There's a couple of really solid lost 45s: the Dutch band The Jaggerz fuzzed out THE RAPPER and Frijid Pink's scorching version of HOUSE OF THE RISING SUN. And, just to add some truly unfortunate nonsense to the mix, there is a Bobby Sherman song. :: Badfinger have loads of good songs like COME AND GET IT, including the amazing "Baby Blue", which is now best known for being the song that plays over the last scene of the Breaking Bad series finale, when ---- SPOILER--- Walter White, having finally freed the now-uncontrollably wailing Jesse Pinkman, slowly dies from a gunshot wound, after leaving a smear of blood from his hand on one of the meth-production tanks. The song works on numerous levels to underscore the scene: obviously baby blue is the color of Walter's meth, and the very first line of the song is "I guess I got what I deserved". It is a scene rich with symbolism, which is greatly aided by the music.

PAUL: I never heard THE RAPPER before. At first it sounds like some two-bit cross between CCR, The Guess Who and Three Dog Night, but when the chorus kicks in, it becomes my jam! A driving, soulful celebration a la War or Sly & The Family Stone. The lyrical sentiment about some guy who endlessly hits on women he meets on the bus, bar or grocery store, would be considered a little sexual harassment-y today, but what are you gonna do, it was 1970!

QUINN: ABC is lit, ‘cuz it’s from [the movie] Daddy Day Care. I’m not a big fan of old school stuff, but I like the vibe of this one.

EVELYN: I’ll do it later. Get out of my room.

JAKE AGAIN: I think we can safely assume that at this point Evelyn put on her headphones and listened to The Wall 11 times in a row.

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(this is my personal top ten list from the all the April top tens for every year we're covering here. Much consideration is given to having something from every decade, otherwise it'd probably just be songs from '70 and '80.)



(this one are my personal faves from just this year.)

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